It all started with an implosion of love that resulted into an expansion of consciousness that we so call universe. What a beautiful gift to start our story. Isn’t God amazing?
The sun wakes us up, yet we tend to forget that this prismatic fest is a call to start all over again. I forgot this, and I don’t want you to forget too. It is a new day, it is a new beautiful call, where birds sing melodies to ease their soul, trees pull themselves upward together with the mellow scent flowers that want that bit of sunshine that nourishes their soft beings. People, beautiful people rise to start what we call a new a day, a new praise to our divine purpose, or inner most essence. I wake up, and go back to the same old songs, nostalgic, melancholic, passionate about remembering that that has shaped me and synchronically guided me to this point. To this point in the present moment, where pressure, ecstasy and mistakes surge as bitter-sweet teachings to inspire more growth. My nourishment for continuing this challenge. I must recognize once and for all, I want to heal, I want to ease and be lightweight, but I also need to recognize that the same will can become a distraction from the present beauty. I must recognize that the fire within can grow so much that it burns my senses, my apertures to this divine moment and instant. Please do not fall in this ego trap, do not fall in the vicious circle of seeking that which already is, that which we already know and is just missing sensibility and humbleness.
Together with all the melodic sounds of the daily life. Together with all the words, thoughts and intentions that might abruptly and impulsively burst into reality, I must ask for forgiveness. Forgive me, my beautiful brothers and sisters, for forgetting that love means trusting, for forgetting that love means letting go, faith and confidence. Forgive me running water, raindrops and beautiful clouds for forgetting that it only takes listening to all the hidden teachers in your subtlety to be able to release from all nonsense. Forgive me beautiful earth, rough yet tender, forgive me for forgetting your mother essence, your protection and welcoming. Forgive me for letting my self act upon what I call as “I” and not what we call “we”. We are here together and we are one. I am not here to arrive alone no where nor a I am to praise hallelujah by myself, I must sing through all of you towards the heights and the infinite. Forgive me for letting my self be driven by desire, by attachment, anger and force. I must say, I am as tiny as a raindrop but also big as the universe when I speak through this same one. I am all, I am not I.
Shallow waters, rough groundbreaking thunders, bursting stars, soft jaguar steps and inspiring eagle flights. All the beauty in ourselves is out there waiting to be interiorized. Now I don’t want the old, now I don’t want that which I carried. Now I don’t want to forget, now I don’t want to loose my attention from what it is really important. But what is that? What is that that I call important? Once again I must listen to my heart, love fearlessly and walk slowly. No more running, no more rushing, no more seeking, and no more disrespect. Within my heart there is the answer, that which is not important, but true. So once again forgive me, and now, I am sorry. I was wandering, I wasn’t lost. I was finding my way, finding that which is sweet, and as nature dictates, sweetness comes after bitterness. So I have enjoyed this bitterness, for all you sweet beings never letted me down through this journey, and now I welcome sweetness in your honor, with you in my heart. It is a new beginning, as every morning, every day, every instant, every now.
I want to inspire, I want to be an example of love, trust, balance and flow. I want to be thought and raised by the spirits. I want to be mastered by the divine whole so I can heal, so I can release, and consequently you can too. I want to start all over again, now humble, now slowly, now with love and now with God. So here we are, here we go. So here I find myself, writing, through this glitchy computer, once again letting my luggage drop, letting my armor fall, letting my ego go, and finding the lost humbleness of my soul. Here I find myself hearing nostalgic songs, realizing that everything fell apart to start once again the daily teachings, the daily lessons. Here I am, with the same smile, the same shine in my eyes, but with a tender heart that has been ripped apart so it could release that which was drowning me. Here I am, saying goodbye to the love of my life, greatest soul I have met in long, sweet girl that has enchanted all my living cells. Here I am, asking for forgiveness and saying goodbye to my family, to my dog, to my beautiful sisters, to my loyal guitar and lovely altar. Here I find myself, on the tip of a mountain about to throw myself into the unknown new beginning. And so it should be like this, for I love what I do, I love life, and I firmly believe that love has guided me to where I am. So nothing to fear, where love is, home will always be. Now I shall let myself drop, once and for all, now that I am light and calm, maybe the drop will be sweet and welcoming.
Thank you family, thank you earth, thank you sweetheart, thank you God. Thank you all who have been ever-present in my path, thank you all who have crossed my way to teach me something that now I come to realize. And forgive me if I ever showed too much bitterness, I repeat, I was wondering, but I wasn’t lost.
And words will always be missing, everything can’t be told at once, anything can’t be expressed fully with words. I might have more to say, but stories take long to be told, don’t you see the universe and its long heroic story?
Love you, love you all infinitely much.
Jose Andres Arvide